a death doula on grief as an expression of love, leaving her career as a scientist, and learning to play the harp

meet virginia chang

meet virginia chang

Once or twice a week, you can spot death doula Virginia Chang shopping the stalls at the Union Square Farmer’s Market — she loves the mushrooms, eggs, vegetables, and, in the summer, peaches fresh from the farm. We talked to Virginia about grief as an expression of love, quitting her career as a scientist and having children, and learning to play the harp.

Paid subscribers can scroll down for more from our interview with Virginia, including the rituals she’s developed to sustain herself in emotionally challenging work, the history of dying and the death industry, and how Abraham Lincoln’s corpse changed the way we deal with death.

“What is grief, really? It is the expression of a loss. You feel this loss intensely because of your attachment and love for what you lost. So, grief is directly related to how much you loved that thing or that person. It’s important to understand that grief is an expression of that love and give yourself permission to grieve because when you grieve it shows you how much you loved.”

on the history of dying