cup of jo's joanna goddard on taking a dating break + our founder's guide to copenhagen
monthly recs #35
Each month, we ask a writer to speak about what’s on their mind and share their tabs for our monthly recommendations. This February’s guest curator, Joanna Goddard, is the brain behind one of our favorite lifestyle blogs, Cup of Jo, and newsletter Big Salad. As a former writer and editor at Glamour and New York Magazine, Joanna has inspired women everywhere with her authentic, honest accounts of motherhood, parenthood, and the eternal process of growth and change.
Have you ever taken a dating/relationship break? Last year, I got divorced after a 13-year marriage. Since I have two kids, and wanted to clear my head and get centered, I gave myself a full year to just be by myself — no dating allowed. I still went to dinners with cute guy friends (Rucola is an especially cozy spot) and exchanged flirty texts with a handsome dad in the Midwest, but I did zero actual dating. My rules were clear, and it honestly felt really good to just take a breath and hang out with friends and goof around with my kids and watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine all the way through, twice. But! It’s been just over a year since my split, so I'm pushing myself to dust myself off and get back out there.
As 2024 kicked off, I decided to make a list of New Year's Resolutions, but instead of writing specific goals, I made a list of things I'd like to do "more of" this year (I learned this approach from illustrator Julia Rothman). My list includes: long walks around Brooklyn, pretty nightgowns, flirting with strangers, kissing on street corners, asking friends to set me up, and getting the bacon egg, and cheese at Win Son which everyone seems to be freaking out about, not forgetting how to have sex?
If you have any pro tips to share, I'm writing about dating and life and all things in my newsletter Big Salad, and we also interview fun people about their favorite things (you can see Natasha Pickowicz's issue here and our comedy issue made me laugh). Please come over and say hi, if you'd like, and here are five things I've been loving lately...
1. Such Brave Girls - Have you seen this new Hulu show? This British comedy follows a dysfunctional mom and her daughters as they all try to find happiness, or at least a boyfriend with "a massive house." Indiewire calls it "cringe humor," which is exactly right — it's dark, odd, and very very funny.
2. Zara Home - Zara Home has beautiful things that feel straight out of a little shop in the Cotswolds. I got these scalloped baskets for holding phone cords, and how lovely is their wooden stool?
3. Guess Who? - With my two kids, I play Guess Who the regular way (by asking about people's physical attributes, like eye color or glasses), but when friends come over, we challenge each other with personality-based questions. "Does your person clap when the plane lands?" or "Was your person hot in high school?" Makes me laugh every time.
4. If Only If Clover Nightgown - For future dates/sleepovers, I'm in love with these romantic cotton nightgowns.
5. Bar Bête - Finally, if you live in NYC, or are visiting soon, beeline to Bar Bête, a small French-ish restaurant in Carroll Gardens. Skip dinner (it's $ $ $ $) and instead sit at the bar and order a glass of wine and a slice of their epic birthday cake. It's decadent and delicious, and the fudgy chocolate frosting looks like an anchorman's swoop!
more from us
6. We appreciate the creativity and beauty fashion month foregrounds, but at the same time, we worry about its excesses. So, when our founder went to review Copenhagen Fashion Week with passerby Erin Allweiss, she found it refreshing to see a concrete commitment to sustainability — all brands have to meet 18 minimum requirements to show on the week’s schedule. Check out the diary of her trip here, and passerby club members can see her full Copenhagen city guide below, including where to shop amongst fashion discoveries such as mfpen (with this coat being our spring staple), where to stay, and where to eat (and, just as importantly, where not to eat).
7. With a more reflective approach to fashion urgently needed, we sought out recommendations from some of the most thoughtful dressers we know — including
, , , , and more — for the best critical theory on fashion to help us think more deeply about the new collections and the clothes we wear. This piece also prompted passersby to share more great recs on our Discord, including Fashion is Spinach and Fashioning Value — Undressing Ornament. Join us over there to share your recs (passerby club members can find out how to access the Discord here)!8. In case you missed it, last week we interviewed Amandine Gay, the filmmaker behind the powerful documentaries Speak Up and A Story of One’s Own — in addition to great advice for creative work and thoughts on developing an Afro-feminist aesthetic, she shared some of the archival documentaries that inspired her while she worked on her latest film, including one narrated by Lauryn Hill, one about Communist Yugoslavia, and one documenting its director’s mental illness and memory. And if you’re in the mood for more documentaries and happen to be in London, check out Other Cinemas, a project that supports the work of Black and non-white filmmakers. From March 25-27, they are hosting a weekend screening series on revolutionary Arab documentaries.
9. As expected, the Mr. and Mrs. Smith reboot, starring Maya Erskine of Pen15 and Donald Glover, is a slick action-comedy — but it’s also a surprisingly thoughtful take on modern relationships. Think Atlanta meets Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes From a Marriage. It’s also a good time to revisit the original.
10. Explore the Sahab Imaginary Museum — a museum in the clouds (one translation of sahab), a “museum without borders,” a virtual reality environment, and a community space devoted to processing Gaza’s past and imagining its future.
paid subscribers receive access to our Discord — a community of like-minded readers ready to recommend a hotel in Marseille and a restaurant in Buenos Aires, help you pick a wedding dress, debate the new Shelia Heti, or find an apartment.
#fashion “How much time do you spend shopping/browsing? For me, it's both soothing and I feel like I'm scrolling my life away. Thinking about it consciously right now as I just saw this youtube video which is a bit long but is thoughtful if you have a similar problem/predilection lol”
#skin-and-hair “I swear by Louis Widmer's Deo Cream! It's lightweight, non-irritating, and does the job very well. However, it's hard to find but well worth the search”
**Managing Director of Fashion PR, No. 29 Communications
Communications agency No. 29 is looking for a Managing Director of Fashion PR with at least 8 years of experience in PR to oversee the agency’s fashion division with the cofounders. This requires a candidate with big-picture thinking, high-level strategy, and a deep understanding of the fashion calendar and industry. In this role, you will lead and execute client strategy, serve as the main point of contact for clients, and manage and collaborate with No. 29’s fashion directors, associates, and cofounders. To apply, email your resume and cover letter to hello@thenumber29.com.
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For those who enjoyed my Milan mini city guide, bringing you mini city guide #2, Copenhagen edition.