embedded's kate lindsay on brooklyn's best-kept secret and our founder's guide to marseille
monthly recs #40
Each month, we ask a writer to share what’s on their minds and in their open tabs for our monthly recommendations. This July’s guest editor,
, is a culture writer and co-founder of Embedded, our favorite newsletter about the internet. She’s written about snark subreddits, the TikTok accent, the looming digital dark age, and more.A few months ago, I was in a coworking space (more on that below) writing about how technology and social media have eroded IRL relationships. As I was doing so, I noticed that a classmate from college was also there, doing her own work. We hadn’t spoken in years, probably since college itself, and so I was ready to default to my normal protocol of pretending we didn’t see each other, knowing full well we did. But that meant turning back to my screen, where I realized I was writing about the very issue I was perpetuating.
When we write about technology’s effects on behavior, for me the throughline is clear: We use our screens to keep uncomfortable emotions at bay. When I’m anxious, I numb my mind on TikTok. When I need to have a confrontation with a friend, I hide behind texts instead. When I’m worried a former classmate won’t remember me and the conversation will be awkward, I avoid it entirely by pretending to be engrossed in my screen.
Widespread adoption of these digital avoidance tactics is leaving us stunted. There’s this misguided belief that life is about feeling good all the time, bolstered by technology’s promise to fix all of life’s little inconveniences. But working through discomfort is necessary for growth, and in almost all cases, you feel better for it. Despite what my anxiety was telling me, getting up and saying hello to my college classmate wasn’t just fine — it was really nice! We caught up briefly, and now say hello whenever we find ourselves there at the same time again.
There are many other forms of digital avoidance that I’m still working through, like scrolling Instagram instead of sitting with my thoughts for ten seconds. Habits you were raised on are hard to quit, but the dopamine hit from breaking a bad habit is better than 1000 Instagram likes.
kate lindsay’s
1. The Center For Fiction membership feels like Brooklyn’s best-kept secret so I’m scared to even mention it here, but $180 a year gets you access to the general coworking space and a discount at the coffee shop. My fave treat is their honking slice of coffee cake. (ed. note: their Head Librarian is a passerby — get to know her here)
2. If you, like me, have spent years thinking you just can’t pull off the slicked-back bun “clean girl” aesthetic, I’ve found it’s merely a problem of wrong product, bad brain. LUSH’s Infra Wig is a perfect, non-crusty solution. As for your brain: You’ll think you look like Miss Trunchbull for a day, then you realize it’s just because you’re not used to seeing so much of your face.
3. Even in the broader chaos of the world—perhaps especially in it — local advocacy like the (successful!) petition to reinstate funding to New York City’s libraries feels huge.
4. Speaking of libraries — not only does an eCard get you free access to an entire catalog of books on Libby, but also the Oxford English Dictionary. As someone who writes a lot about trends, a resource that has records of the first use of almost any word you can think of is invaluable.
5. Doris could have been one of those bars, like Old Stanley’s and Mood Ring, that calcified into a neglected monument to a time when I used to go out past 10 pm. However, living just a few blocks away means I’ve learned that the over-30s haven’t left — they’re just showing up right at 5 pm, having some drinks at a normal volume in a nice space, and leaving just as the late-night crowd starts their shift.
*paid subscribers can scroll down for more recs from Kate, including the best VPN to watch Love Island, the best place to buy pillows, and the YouTubers whose 40-minute vlogs are a must-watch.
more from us
6. Clémence had the special experience of traveling with
over the weekend and seeing her impressive packing skills in person. Emilia shared some additional essentials she always travels with:For more packing tips,
has a great roundup on surviving summer travel in her newsletter. And there’s always Joan Didion’s iconic packing list.And if you’re still in need of a luggage or bag to pack it all in, we have our eye on Emilia’s red Rimowa. We also spotted this responsibly-made luggage and this wire mesh bag or this canvas option that makes a great beach bag.
7. One of our favorite ways to get to know a new place when traveling is to go for a morning run. Most tourists aren’t out early in the morning, so you get to feel like it’s just you and the town (and the commuter crowd). We like asking locals for running routes, but if that’s not your thing, there’s Strava. We like to pack some running shoes that can be styled outside of running to avoid an overstuffed suitcase Mizuno is having a sale (we have our eyes on their Prophecy or Wave Rider 10). And if we’re going somewhere hot, we always pack some breathable socks (like these).
8. Calling it now: we think the books of the summer are going to be Thieving Sun by Monica Datta and Didion and Babitz by Lili Anolik. (We also have more summer book recs here).
9. It’s finally the season for hanging out on your fire escape, balcony, or backyard (if you’re lucky). We’re trying our hand at growing a fire escape herb garden (we’re starting the easy way — buying an already-growing pot of basil leaves at the market and repotting it at home.) Some freshly-grown herbs would be delicious in this recipe for marinated olives or this recipe for fennel, greens, and ricotta salad — both perfect fire escape foods (ask for a wine pairing in our Discord, where we have a few passerby wine experts!).
10. Matthew Barney has a new exhibition and if you’re in Paris, you can catch it at Fondation Cartier pour l’art contemporain. It deals with aging masculinity, violence, sports culture, and American culture (which is why SECONDARY, the video installation at the heart of the exhibit, made for the surprisingly great double feature we highlighted here). We missed Matthew’s conversation with Maggie Nelson at Metrograph last year (send us a link if you have one) but this talk is the next best thing.
paid subscribers receive access to our Discord — a community of like-minded readers ready to recommend a hotel in Marseille and a restaurant in Buenos Aires, help you pick a wedding dress, debate the new Shelia Heti, or find an apartment. join our private discord server through our passerby club membership here.
#maps “The sculpture garden in New Orleans is great. UAL has tons of discounted designer clothes. N7 is a great date night spot. Jamilas is really good Tunisian food. I liked Peychaud’s, Tell Me Bar, and Bacchanal Wine for drinks. Margot’s is great pizza.”
#recs “Carina shot my wedding last summer and she was great to work with, reasonably priced, and I love how the photos came out.“
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I’m trying to have more of a ‘go with the flow’ attitude when it comes to travel, and in that spirit, I went on a spontaneous last-minute trip to Marseille with
and last weekend. I must say, it was the most fun 48 hours I’ve had in a long time.A lot of you shared how much you loved my Milan and Copenhagen mini-city guides (thank you for reading and sharing the love!), and so without further ado; mini city guide #3: Marseille edition.
 | A guest post by
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